Thursday, July 24, 2008

Extreme Golfing Bit #4

Apparently he was trying to grab my legs but he missed only succeeding in making me loose my grip. I fell straight down and landed on him. I felt my ass hit his back and I heard a crack. I was sort of sitting on him for a second before I fell backwards. I landed on my back this time which winded me. After a few seconds I scuttled backwards away from Dick in case he tried to grab at me.

But he couldn’t.

I looked at the body hanging there half-in half out of the window. There was blood trickling down from the window ledge in small rivulets. He must have impaled himself on a piece of glass. As well as that his spine was odd. From his neck it sloped up until roughly the window ledge, then it rose up sharply, returning to a normal angle as it went down to his lower back which was inside. Between me and the window he’d been almost torn in half. I was numb. I’d kinda killed him. I shouldn’t feel guilty. I did, though. I stared for a few minutes until the sound of an approaching car dragged me from my shock.

I cursed to myself as I started to get up and run away.

The club house was just at hole three (like I said there was a funny layout. Holes one and two were behind it and too the left respectively). I ran across the pitch black green as I heard shouting and doors slamming from behind me. I was aiming to get to the thicket of trees without being seen. And apparently I had. When I was there I needed to pause for a rest.

I looked back at the club house. There was a pool of light given off by the headlights from the car. There were four people three men and a woman. The three men all looked to be about the same age as Dick but the woman was much older. Their mother? I thought to myself and I found the notion amusing. Like one of those all-in-the-family murder rings you hear happening in America and that appear in hillbilly movies.


“She’s well guarded, Rye.” Shawn informed me. “Six henchmen all armed with SBP4000’s”

“What level is the mummy?” I needed to ask to make sure I knew what I was up against. A level one mummy, for example was, still very hard to kill, but relatively powerless but a level five had all sorts of magic at her disposal: telekinesis and elemental weapons and spells and such.

“Four.” He replied sighing with concentration as he worked out a strategy. We ourselves were armed with weapons from Time Splitters 2. I had my Tactical 12 gauge automatic shotgun and two Lugar pistols in holsters around my belt. Shawn was currently equipped with a plasma auto rifle and a belt full of plasma grenades. We were crouching, out of sight, in a ditch ankle deep in mud.

“So what we gonna do? I say we attack!” I said with all the simplicity of an inbred Geordie.

“Duh.” Shawn said. “Give me your radio, I’ll call for back-up.” I did. He spoke into it. “This is captain Green, code four-eight-one-five-two-three, we are need of assistance. Get a chopper over hear now we have a level four mummy on the loose. Repeat level four. Over.” He said in his best American accent (which wasn’t very good). “Right the chopper’s on her way. Now we can attack.” He said leaping out from our cover and launching blobs of plasma out of his gun. I took out my Lugar’s for better long range shots and started firing madly.

“God Shawn did you see that head shot!?” I cackled.

“My guy’s on fire look!” he laughed.

Then she noticed us.

After jumping out of our trench we showered her in bullets and plasma but with little effect. She started throwing fire spells at us. Trees behind us burst into flames as we dived and rolled. Then she tried another tactic: throwing her earth spells – balls of sand – at us. It was a good job we’d been wearing our goggles (Shawn had a really cool pair – like the ones that Tai from Digimon wears – that he’d ordered off the internet) or she could blind us.

I ran out of ammo for my Lugar pistols so I threw them aside swearing before pulling out my Tactical Twelve Gauge again and blasting the Mummy in the chest. Bits of dusty flesh and bandages went flying but she was unfazed and grabbed me by the throat.

Shawn rugby tackled her and the three of us ended up in one of the sand traps. Shawn let me get back a bit as he started smashing the butt of his gun into the Mummy’s skull.

“The choppers here!” I exclaimed tiredly (the sky was starting to get dull and we’d been up here all day). We ran away while the chopper pelted the mummy with bullets and then a couple of missiles.

“It’s getting kinda late, Rye.” Shawn said echoing my thoughts. “We still doing movie night?”

“Yeah I got this movie called The Beach.”

“Better go home then!” He said referring to my house.


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