tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139423314119057651.post7784404467741823797..comments2011-03-31T08:41:22.372-07:00Comments on Orian's Stories: Extreme Golfing. Bit #1orian57http://www.blogger.com/profile/14362017640413593464noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139423314119057651.post-62344579731555504402008-07-06T13:56:00.000-07:002008-07-06T13:56:00.000-07:00Wow, Cajek. The plot is gonna thicken. I promise. ...Wow, Cajek. The plot is gonna thicken. I promise. I've already got about ten pages of this one, the plot will thicken. this BIT is more or less an introduction. And Cajek: dudes kissing dudes, I'm gay, it's what I do. It was just A kiss.orian57https://www.blogger.com/profile/14362017640413593464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139423314119057651.post-34559862228063808312008-07-06T13:47:00.000-07:002008-07-06T13:47:00.000-07:00As far as horror stories go, golfing IS pretty ter...As far as horror stories go, golfing IS pretty terrifying, but I'm not sure you're using golfing to it's full potential here as a horror device. But dudes kissing dudes? Dude.<BR/><BR/>Ah yes, flashbacks are cool, and you did it pretty well here. So I guess his friend died recently and he just wanted to visit his old haunts? He was feeling sentimental, I see.<BR/><BR/>Some grammar errors (about three) but nothing big. At the end, someone hits the main character's balls, so you have to follow up on that.<BR/><BR/>That's my input on YOUR story. How do you think MY new story is coming out? I know everyone liked Snow, but I am sooo past those characters.Cajekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11511022875823834523noreply@blogger.com